


Is this love?

by AngelicMichael



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: 1984
Genre: F/M, Fluff, SO MUCH FLUFF, Smoking, a lil angst, light touching, no smut but there is a steamy makeout scene and sex is mentioned vaguely once, not a lot of violence but Reader is a killer so murder and killing is discussed a lot, serial killer reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:55:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25664743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelicMichael/pseuds/AngelicMichael
Summary: Serial killer! Reader is looking for her next victim but once she stumbled across Xavier, everything changes.A/N: Heavily inspired by the song ‘is this love’? By whitesnake and the music video ‘your body’ by Christina Aguilera. I feel like the first couple of paragraphs are cringe but it gets better I promise lmao please comment or leave kudos if you enjoyed!! Or even if you hated it I would enjoy the feedback honestly lol also my tumblr is angelicmicheal I am MUCH more active there.
Relationships: Xavier Plympton & Reader, Xavier Plympton/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

You had a itch but it wasn’t the kind that could be relieved by scratching. It more of a urge, a need, something you had to do.. 

You needed to kill. 

And it had to be soon. This urge, this feeling wasn’t anything new to you. Ever since your last kill which was about a month ago, you could feel the urge building up stronger and stronger until now.. and you couldn’t suppress this urge any longer without literally losing your mind. 

However you couldn’t just kill anyone. You needed the perfect victim, someone who was beautiful. Someone who had facial features that looked like they hand carved by god himself. Your victim also couldn’t be a random lowlife nobody. That would never do. That was the thrill of it for you, it had to be a risk - someone who would be missed if they were gone. You knew it was risky but you didn’t care - easy victims were boring. Simple as that. 

However, today you had signed yourself up for a jazzercise class to of course work on your figure but more importantly to find your next victim. It’s not like you were gonna find your next target at a grocery store, and you didn’t want to make the mistake of killing a celebrity. Celebrities seemed to infest California like god damn cockroaches, and you knew if you killed one there would be a man hunt for you. That would also be a easy way to get on the FBIs most wanted list.. no thank you. 

So that’s why you were here you were for another jazzercise class.  
They were perfect for victim hunting, you had spotted many of your precious victims through jazzercise classes. You knew you were a couple minutes late for today’s class but you wouldn’t let that stop you - if anything it was good because it would draw attention to yourself and let your potential victims notice you first. 

You quickly paced into the building and it was easy to tell the class had already started. You could hear the music blaring from outside, that grew increasingly louder as you approached the room. You wore your hair down - dancing with your hair down made it about 100x easier to seduce just about anyone you set your eyes on. You also sported a extra tight outfit that showed off all the right parts of your body.. You were going to find your dream victim today. You just knew it. 

You carelessly threw your bag you carried with you outside of the dance room before entering, you were already pretty fucking late. You really didn’t have any time to spare to drop it off at the locker room, and plus, you were always here taking various dance classes here so it’s not like the workers didn’t know you. You ripped open the door that lead into the room where your class would be held and quickly threw yourself into the room. 

“Sorry”! 

You half whispered as you nearly ran past the instructor and found a empty spot in the room. When you turned around you noticed the instructor gave you a quick wink and you couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous he was. He had frizzy blond hair, eyes so blue you could nearly drown in them and a beyond perfect body. He looked like a fucking ken doll. You knew it right then, he had to be yours. He was perfect.. too perfect. 

You could barely contain yourself from grinning or jumping with joy at being able to locate your next victim so easily but you instead channeled your energy into your dance moves. Even if you couldn’t talk to him quite yet, you might as well impress him with your moves.. right? 

It must’ve been working because throughout the entire class Xavier kept his eyes mostly on you, in fact it was a wonder if he looked anywhere else in the room. 

~ 

Even though you were covered in sweat by the time the class was over, and in a desperate need of a shower, you still made sure you were the last one in the room.. And finding ways to stall and not look suspicious was embarrassingly difficult. 

You left your bag outside of the room so the only thing you could do was drink your water painfully slow and look busy.. 

You were so preoccupied with trying to keep the illusion up of looking busy that you didn’t even notice that everyone else besides you had filed out of the room. You also didn’t notice that your hottie instructor was approaching you until you felt a light hand on your shoulder.. 

You jumped about a foot in the air - effectively spilling all of the water from your water bottle onto you. You let out a sharp screech as well.. and immeaditly felt the embarrassment start to course through your body as if someone injected you with some kind of ‘instant embarrassment iv’ or some shit. You felt the blood start to rush to your cheeks as you could only think of how stupid you probably looked.. your body was starting to sweat again as well, you didn’t even know you had anymore sweat left in you after that class. 

‘So much for catching the perfect victim’. 

You thought cynically. You could feel the frustration starting to manifest inside you as well, frustration from the lack of killing and the fact that you were now soaking wet. And cold, very fucking cold. 

You kind of just stood there as you threw your (plastic) water bottle onto the ground and glared at the man who was in front of you. 

“I am so sorry, are you okay”? 

He asked. The ruthless and stoic expression you wore seemed to melt away quickly after you heard his words and even looked at his face. His words and concern seemed so genuine, you couldn’t help but feel bad for even glaring at the poor guy about two seconds ago. Even just by looking at him, you could tell he actually felt bad for what had happened. However, no sweet he looked, the frustration and the lust that you still felt to claim another life still lingered within you. 

You also couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous he was up close. Typically people who looked beautiful from far away showed some flaws when they were looked at up close but you swear this man had absolutely no flaws. His skin was perfect, his hair, his eyes - and his lips looked so deliciously soft. How was this man even real? 

You blinked a couple times and licked your lips as you realized that he was still waiting for a reply from you. Duh. 

“Yeah, I’m okay. I could use a towel though”. 

You giggled as you looked back down at your wet clothes and your wet self with shame. 

“Oh yeah, of course! Towels are back here”. 

He led you out of the dance studio and across the building, it wasn’t too far of a walk. On the walk over to get towels you two ran into a couple of people he knew, you assumed his close friends or maybe coworkers? It was hard to tell at a first glance. You didn’t stop to talk but just wave.. and you assumed they were his close friends by how they were all looking at you. They all seemed to look you up and down and one even gave you a wink. You assumed that this guy didn’t talk to many women.. and maybe this was why his friends seemed so excited to see you with him? Oh fuck, could he be gay? 

Oh fuck. 

You knew this whole thing was too good to be true. You would still be able to kill him if he was gay of course, being gay did not give someone a out of jail free card when it came to being murdered but seduction would be out of the equation for sure - and the whole act of seducing your victims before death was your favorite part. 

Typically what you did to your victims was lead them on and make them think you were going to have sex with them - and then right before either of you would take your clothes off you would slit their throat with the knife you kept on you. That same knife was even in your bag right now but if this guy was really gay, your previous plan to end this guy would be a no go. You would have to get creative with this one.. or just give up entirely. 

You were brought back into reality when you realized he was trying to lead you into a locker room, a men’s locker room to be specific. He stood in the doorway, gesturing for you to come inside but you hesitated. You bit your lip and contamplaited.. a quick look over your shoulder showed you that his friend group was nowhere in sight and either was anyone else really. No one would see you. 

You grinned as you quickly turned your attention back to the man in front of you and followed him inside the locker room. You quickly observed that the locker room was completely vacant execpt for you two, thank god. 

“So do I get to know your name”? 

You said, still keeping a sweet smile on your face. 

“Only if I get to know yours”. 

He said, also sporting a small smile as he tossed you a cream colored towel that you catched. 

“(y/n)”. 

You replied. 

“Xavier”. 

“Makes sense that someone as pretty as you would have a pretty name to match”. 

You said with a smirk, and you noticed how Xavier softly laughed and how his cheeks dusted a light pink color. He almost looked like he was embarrassed, it was fucking adorable really. You did a quick double take around the room to make sure you two were truly alone before you made your next move. 

“There’s no cameras in here right”? 

You asked, your fingers delicately holding the hem of your shirt. Xavier took a couple steps toward you, getting closer. 

“No. There’s not babe”. 

He said, he seemed to be studying you now - waiting for your next move. Maybe you were just imagining it but you swear you could just see a glint of lust in his eyes. You figured the fastest way to see if he was really gay or not would be to take your shirt off - his reaction would quickly tell you. 

You took your other hand and hooked your fingers under your wet shirt and quickly pulled it off in one quick swipe, leaving you exposed in your bra. You dropped your shirt behind you on the floor, the wet noise it made as it hit the floor seemed to echo throughout the bare locker room. You gently put the towel Xavier gave you on the bench that was right next to you, judging by where things were going - you wouldn’t need the towel anymore. 

“If I knew you were gonna take me here I wouldn’t have asked you for a towel, you know”.

You said, nearly whispering because he was so close now. You took a step closer to him, your faces only a couple inches a part now. You left your lips parted and you looked into his eyes.. and that was a fucking mistake. All of the common sense you were holding onto left and all thoughts you previously had seemed to thin out and dissolve into nothing. 

You could taste his breath now he was so close. All it took was for him to put his hands on your waist and you gave in. You closed the distance that kept you two apart and you kissed him. Hard. 

This was breaking one of your major rules that you kept for yourself as a serial killer. You tried to always make your victim make the first move - to kiss you first. This seemed to keep them on their toes and wanting more, and it kept you in control. However, being here with Xavier, all senseable thoughts you once had were long fucking gone. Right now, you didn’t care about anything else execpt for kissing him. Everything else seemed irrelevant, you just wanted to live in this moment forever. 

The kiss started off sweet but it continued to grow more heated as you kissed him harder and harder. Your hands wasted no time in finding his shoulders as your nails started to dig into his skin. You impatiently bit his lower lip - wanting more. 

You felt Xavier softly break away from you, but he didn’t move away too far from you, his face moved over to whisper in your ear, 

“Jump”. 

You instantly jumped and you felt him catch your legs, essentially holding you up as he continued to keep kissing you. You felt him take a couple steps and in this moment you didn’t care where he was even going too - you just.. felt different. Maybe it was a new emotion, but you felt peaceful for once in your life. And it felt way too fucking good to let go of. Not to mention you were beyond happy he wasn’t gay like how you suspected.. but it wasn’t your fault that you knew zero straight guys that instructeted jazzercise classes or wore short shorts and actually looked good doing it. 

However.. You also felt something else and that was unprepared. It was clear to see where this makeout sesh was really headed too and your knife which was in your bag, was no where near you. In fact you had no fucking clue where it was which meant you couldn’t kill him now, you would have to ask him out. 

You felt Xavier gently put you down on the ground, you could feel the rough surface of lockers poking up against your back. You were on the verge of mentioning how uncomfterable you were when you heard a deafening loud creak echo throughout the locker room. Someone was opening the fucking locker room door. Fuck!

You felt a jolt of anxiety run through you like electricity as you two instantly seperated, and tried to look as innocent as possible. You wiped your mouth and you and Xavier both stood up before you actually bothered to look who came into the locker room in the first place. 

“Hey love birds”! 

You heard a chirp, female  
Voice. You couldn’t help but laugh- was it common for girls to just waltz in the men’s locker room? When she walked forward and came into view, You easily recognized her as one of the people from Xaviers friend group that was waving at you two ealier... In fact, she was the one who winked at you ealier as well. 

“Nice to see you too ‘Tana”. 

Xavier grumbled back, after he swiftly rolled his eyes. You assumed ‘Tana was short for Montana and she certainly looked like a interesting character.. espically if she frequently went into men’s restrooms. Her hair was a white bleached blonde - so bleached that her hair looked entirely stripped and dryer than the god damn Sahara desert. She had heavy blue eyeshadow on her eyelids and you couldn’t help but admire that she atleast tried to put a effort in her appearance. 

Montana stood right next to Xavier and it was obvious to tell by the looks they exchanged that she wanted to talk to him - alone. She awkwardly shifted glances between you and Xavier and you bit your tongue, the realization hitting you like a freight train - what if this was his fucking girlfriend? Normally with victims you didn’t have to jump through so many hoops but Xavier was different. Something about him was very different from the rest of your victims but you were still trying to put your finger on exactly why. You cleared your throat and figured before you left like they wanted you too, you should atleast introduce yourself. 

“Hi, I’m (y/n)”. 

You said, sporting a smile as you took a step forward toward Montana to shake her hand. She took it and shook it a bit too roughly and spotted a grin that would even make the Cheshire Cat jealous. 

“I’m Montana! It’s nice to finally know the name of one Xavier’s girlfriends”. 

She said with a excited look on her face. You quickly opened your mouth to speak - this girl was pretty straight forward wasn’t she? Atleast you knew she wasn’t dating Xavier. 

“Oh - im not his girlfriend, we actually just met but you know.. I wouldn’t mind changing that”. 

You said, adding a playful wink and biting your lip while staring instensily at Xavier. You knew you were being incredibly straight forward as well but at this point you didnt care, you just wanted to see him again. 

Xavier finally stopped looking at Montana and met your gaze as he took a couple steps toward you. 

“Me too, babe. My place tonight at six? I’ll pick you up”. 

Xavier said and you quickly gave him your address and awkwardly left the locker room with Montana’s stare burning holes through your back. Maybe she was just jealous? 

It didn’t matter, after tonight Xavier wouldn’t exsist anyway so who even cared what this supposed friend of his thought of you... but. Something weird was happening to you. The thought of actually killing again made you happy - yes. Just the act of taking another’s life and seeing them suffer but having it be Xavier? You barely knew the guy but it almost made you sad to not be able to see him again after tonight. He really did seem like a sweet guy with good intentions but that never seemed to stop you before. 

You went back to the lobby and quickly picked up your bag that you had left there (albeit carelessly) and you figured tonight you would bring your knife just in case. You had a feeling that you wouldn’t be able to kill him tonight - the vibe felt off. Plus, since when had you been on a actual date that didn’t involve murder at the end?? The answer was never. You deserved to have a nice date, with a pretty person. Murder could wait until tommorow. 

~ 

Montana and Xavier both stared at  
you as you passed them, and watched as you left the locker room. However, they both held their breath until the locker room door completely shut close. Montana snapped her head forward once the door shut and decided to be the one who first spoke. 

“Xavier, that person is not to be trusted”. 

Montana took a couple steps toward him as she spoke. Xavier immeaditly furrowed his eyebrows in a look of confusion, he could feel himself automatically getting defensive. He loved Montana (as a friend of course) but he swore Montana took that love in a different way.. And this made it obvious. He just met you, why was Montana already investigating into you and making wild accusations? This made no sense unless perhaps Montana had feelings again for Xavier. 

However Xavier merely crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. 

“That’s funny coming from you”. 

However, Montana didn’t laugh or even smile. She continued to look completely serious, as she spoke.

“I’m not kidding. I don’t care if shes pretty or a good kisser or whatever the hell. You need to promise me you won’t see them tonight like you said”. 

Her voice first started out as harsh and then grew soft and almost vulnerable. 

Xavier shifted in place and nervously licked his lips. 

“Montana what the hell. I’m not just gonna blindly follow what you say”. 

Xavier said, his words spitting venom as he spoke. At this point he really didn’t care if he was coming out as harsh - Montana had a boyfriend.. why couldn’t she just leave Xavier alone with this new girl he just met? 

Montana stepped closer to Xavier and put both of her hands of his shoulders and looked him dead in the eye as she spoke. 

“You need to listen to me Xavier or your going to get yourself killed”. 

Montana’s cherry red lips turned into a snarl. 

“I saw their bag in the lobby and there was a knife in it. It was a fucking big knife Xav, no one just carries a knife like that”. 

Montana added but Xavier was still in denial. Xavier looked at the ground as he slightly paced back and forth in place. 

“How big of a knife”? 

Xavier asked quietly. 

“Its a fucking butchers knife. I wouldn’t be worried if it was a pocket knife, Xavier”! 

Montana replied and Xavier kind of froze. He didn’t know how to react, he knew all of the men that had gone missing as of lately. And he also knew that they were all around the same age and had the same appearance that he had. Could he really be the next victim? He felt tears start to prick at his eyes, there was no way. This girl he had met ealier was so sweet, just because she had a knife didn’t mean she was a fucking killer.. right? 

All that Xavier could think to do in response to this was to look up at Montana sadly. 

“Why were you going through their bag in the first place”? 

Xavier asked, his voice coming out as jagged and rough with emotion. However, Montana still continued to act stoic as she nearly yelled at him. 

“You nearly hooked up with a fucking serial killer and your concerned about my priorities? Dude, you need to promise me you won’t see them again”. 

Xavier stared at Montana blankly. It was obvious what this was about, he knew Montana really found no knife and he also knew Montana made up this whole story because she was jealous. That was it. Montana just didn’t wanna see Xavier with anyone else, that was the bottom line.. Xavier rolled his eyes. 

“Whatever, Montana. I have another class to get too”. 

He could hear Montana protesting and yelling his name as he walked past her but he didn’t care anymore. He was determined - he was going to meet you tonight at six, whether it killed him or not.

He had to admit to himself though, even though he was excited to see you again a part of him dreaded it. He knew there was a small chance that Montana could be right - and what if she was? 

Even though Xavier knew he was in pretty good shape he knew his muscles magically became useless when it came to self defense. He was shit at self defense honestly. He was good at archery but he didn’t own a fucking bow and arrow. 

He made a mental note to pick up a pocket knife before coming to pick you up. If you really were a fucking killer a pocket knife wasn’t going to stop you but it was sure better than nothing. 

~ 

Six O’ Clock came and went and Xavier picked you up in the glamourus Vanta-C. Being in a van that smelled heavily of weed and nothing else wasn’t too exciting but somehow Xavier made it fun, like how he did with everything it seemed like. 

He had a sort of magic about him, the type of magic that made you actually start to feel things for once - feel different emotions that you had never felt before. Like would you even dare say it, love? Well, maybe love was a bit of a exaggeration - you just met the guy after all - but, you had no idea honestly.. you had nothing else to base this off of, you’ve never really had a crush or romantic interest on anyone before ever. The interest you’ve had in your other previous victims was always based off of looks - it was the thrill of the chase that appealed to you more than anything. However, you couldn’t say that about Xavier. After meeting him ealier - you were dying to get to know him better so that you could probably fall in love with him, if you were even capable of doing that. 

Maybe it was foolish to assume that Xavier would be taking you back to his apartment, or house, or wherever the hell he lived but he didn’t. You two stayed in the Vanta-C which he drove and parked it in a park that was a couple blocks or so away from where you resided. 

It took you two a while to decide on a decent place to park the car and go to - at first it was a matter of where to go. Whether to go and get food, or head over to someone’s place or just stay in the Vanta and obviously the last option won. 

You had to admit the scene you two were in was starting to get rather romantic - not that you experienced this type of feeling before but rather You based this feeling off of movies and other various entertainment you’ve watched; this is what romance seemed like to you. 

The sun was just starting to set; painting the sky a various different tones of purples, blues and pinks as the sun started to dip further and further into the tree line. You and Xavier both ditched the front and the passenger seat and both camped out in the very back of the van - where the seat was really more of a glorified couch than a actual seat. 

The windows were all shut and so were the doors, essentially so that you two could hotbox. You never thought that a pretty boy like Xav would smoke weed, but you also thought he was gay at first so - you found it best not to assume anything about him anymore. 

There was plenty of room left on the back seat but you and Xavier chose to sit incredibly close to eachother. You sat side by side and your shoulder and arms touched but you didn’t mind of course. The closer the better. 

Your bag was pooled near your feet, near the door which was away from Xavier. Sure enough, the knife was inside but it was hidden under a couple of other objects that you kept in your bag. The longer you spent with him, the more you were regretting bringing the knife in the first place.. because it was making you fucking neurotic. When he first picked you up, all you could think about and focus on was that god damn knife and how it would end up slitting Xavier’s throat by the end of the night. However, you seemed to be more relaxed the longer you were around him. It was hard to tell whether it was just the vibes he gave off or the weed that relaxed you so much; maybe both. 

By now, the thoughts of killing and that stupid knife had become lost and put somewhere far off in your brain - somewhere you couldn’t access when you were high. You barely even noticed you were Intensely staring down your bag until you felt a soft hand gently rub down your arm. 

“Hey babe, are you okay”? 

You looked back up at Xavier to only see him wearing a puzzled expression of his face - which looked adorable with his blue puppy dog eyes. You also noticed in his other hand (that wasn’t still on your arm) was the blunt you two were smoking - oops. 

“Yeah, I’m okay”. 

You replied, your voice small and rather quiet. You took the blunt from Xavier and took a deep hit, and sat with the smoke in your lungs for a couple seconds. It wasn’t until you felt the smoke burning and eating away at your lungs and throat was when you exhaled. You exhaled slowly, dreamily watching the smoke cloud up the Vanta-C even more so than it already was. 

Before you even knew it, or consciously decided to - you heard yourself talking. 

“Actually, no. I’m not okay.. I have something to tell you”. 

You swallowed and took one last quick hit before handing the blunt back to your new lover and looking him in the eyes. You saw something in his eyes that was new to you - was it fear? Why he was he scared?? It was only a glimmer of fear that you caught in his eyes but still - it defintly threw you off guard. You just saw his lips part like he was about to say something when you quickly spoke first. 

“Xavier, I’m crazy about you”. 

You blurted out, with a embarrassing giggle. You blamed being incredibly straight forward on the weed, of course you would never be like this if you were sober. Never. 

Your lips curled into a closed mouth smile, you had more to say but you figured to wait for some kind of reaction from Xavier first. The glimmer of fear you saw in his eye ealier seemed to morph into confusion, disbelief and then happiness. Pure happiness. 

“What”? 

He laughed. 

“You heard me! I know I just met you, but Xav’ I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.. and I mean it”. 

Xavier gently placed his hands on your face - on both of your cheeks - before deeply kissing you. You placed your hands on his chest which effectively made him start to lay down while you gently maneuvered your way on top of him so you that you two would be laying down on the long back seat of his van. 

You moved your leg up to straddle him when you felt your foot snag on something. At first you merely tried to pull it away free but to no avail. Xavier broke away from you since he could feel you moving your leg vigorously and you managed to get your leg free with one big final yank of your leg. 

You snapped your head to see what the fuck dared make this gorgeous man stop kissing you when your heart stopped - it was your bag. You must’ve hooked your foot around your bag and when you freed your foot you managed to topple the bag and spill out all of the contents... which meant your butchers knife was on full fucking display for Xavier to see. 

FUCK. 

You felt your breath stop as the world seemed to come to a stand still. You felt frozen, bewildered and caught off guard but you definetly didn’t feel scared. You moved your leg over awkwardly to straddle him but the vibe had defintly changed. The romantic vibes that seemed in the air ealier had been swept clean and nearly were completly gone. You decided to try and save your ass and be the first to speak. 

“Xavier I-“ 

“Get off of me”.

He spoke softly and his voice was lowered. You took a deep breath as you awkwardly climbed off of him and you two sat in the position that you two were in ealier - side by side execpt you two were farther apart this time. 

You tried again to explain yourself but Xavier spoke first. 

“What the hell is this? W-why did you bring that knife”? 

You noted how his eyes started to have tears building up in them. You absentmindedly moved the knife back into your bag with your foot and noticed how badly Xavier flinched away from you when you did so. Your turned your focus back to Xavier. 

“Look, I know it looks bad but I just keep it on me for self defense. You know, with the night stalker and all”? 

You said, with a slight giggle. Instantly, the tension that built up was broken and it was almost like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He laughed and he scooted up the seat to get closer to you - stepping on all of items from your bag that were still on the ground but you didn’t really care. You were just happy you were able to pull off that lie and convince him you were someone else you really weren’t. 

A thought crossed the back of your mind of how easy it would really be to just reach down and grab the knife and easily slit his throat. It would be almost too easy, but no. 

As Xavier pulled you into his arms and you layed down into the rough fabric of the back seat, you felt safe (which was incredibly ironic). You felt at home, and in love. 

As you turned your head to continue where you two had left off at the locker room, you couldn’t help but hazily day dream about tommorow. 

Just because Xavier’s life was spared didn’t mean your thirst or your itch to take another’s life was gone.. it just meant it would have to wait until tommorow.


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader blows off some tension meanwhile her and Xavier’s relationship starts to be put in jeopardy. 
> 
> *A/N: Sorry this took me forever to update! I’m such a slow writer haha. This starts out pretty dark, turns fluffy and then ends with angst. If you guys want more bonus content like blurbs from me, feel free to check out my tumblr which is AngelicMichael. If you enjoyed this please leave kudos and comment! ♥️

The past couple of days had simultaneously been the worst and the best week of your life. Admittedly the memories of it were particularly foggy due to how much weed you and Xavier smoked but some scenes seemed to linger in the back of your mind. 

Most of the memories you still had were of you and Xavier being cramped close together in the Vanta-C, basically repeating the night of which you two had first met. The sweet parts consisted of you two sharing kisses, cuddling and being attached to the hip - but it got to a point quickly where you needed to take a break. 

You felt entirely guilty for doing so and it wasn’t because you nessacarily wanted too but it had gotten to the point where it was what you needed to do. 

Just because you were now head over heels in love didn’t mean the urge to kill went away; if anything it grew stronger. 

Well, the urge to kill Xavier anyway completly diminished. The way you had become utterly infatuated with him made it impossible to think about killing Xavier; in fact, even you couldn’t even really picture doing it anymore without almost bringing yourself to tears. 

However, whenever you weren’t high as a kite and you could actually think coherent thoughts - all that remained was dark urges and impulses. The urge to kill hadn’t left you, it was completely foolish to think that it would have just because you fell in love for the first time. 

Coming to terms with that you would never be normal was starting to destroy you. You knew that Xavier’s perception of you was far from reality, to him you were this sweet, loving, innocent girl who needed protecting when really.. it was the opposite. You were the monster. You really were the wolf in sheep’s clothing, you were the one who made men bleed out slowly and relished in their pain and suffering.. and up until you met Xavier you weren’t ashamed of that part of you. However, now it was suddenly your dirty secret and it made you incredibly uncomfterable. 

You wanted nothing more to just be another typical woman, worrying about what man they would be sleeping with next instead of worrying who your next victim would be. You wanted nothing more than your future to be spent with Xavier in bliss; being a housewife, having a couple children in the suburbs was something you craved for yourself so fucking badly you could almost taste it. But instead, you just tasted the metallic sweet taste of blood from biting your tongue so fucking hard. 

You would try your damn hardest to have that future if that’s what made Xavier happy. Fuck, you would do anything for him.. execpt stop killing of course. You wanted to stop, you really did but you couldn’t. You were already pushing your limits when you met Xavier, and now you were over the fucking edge. 

It had been about a week since you met Xavier, and you managed to go this far without killing anyone but today was the breaking point, you were planning to keep brushing it off but Xavier was starting to notice. It was nearly like a damn addict having withdrawals, you were visibly tense - your jaw was constantly clenched and the rest of your body was in a constant state of being rigid. Irritability was another frequent symptom you felt, you started to snap at Xavier for things that didn’t even fucking make sense. 

You knew you were running out of time before you would snap and accidently hurt Xavier once even smoking weed didn’t work to distract you from how badly you wanted to fucking kill.

So here you were; you and Xavier were always together, you basically lived with him now so you managed to make up a bullshit excuse to get away. About how one of your friends was really sad and needed you tonight - and of course he bought it. 

You parked the Vanta C a couple blocks away; your game plan was different this time. You weren’t planning on taking your next victim ‘home’ to try and seduce them, you just needed a fast fix. 

You already decided the death of whomever happened to cross paths with you would be a quick one, painful sure, but relatively fast nonetheless. It would happen here - in the dark alleyway of which you currently stood in. You didn’t have any plans of what to do with the body afterwards; which was unlike you but at this point you could barely think coherent enough thoughts to even focus enough on the task that you had your mind set on doing. 

You stopped thinking entirely when you saw a shadowed figure turn the corner and enter the alleyway. No thoughts entered your mind as you could only act on what you felt and truly craved to do. 

~

Only a hour had passed; it was passed midnight but also not quite yet in the early hours of morning. The sky was still painted a dark black, with the stars and the moon being your light source as you made your way back to your boyfriends van. 

Taking a life definetly relieved some tension from you, but you felt fucking awful. It wasn’t that you felt bad for killing someone, you felt awful for lying to Xavier and using his fucking car for your dirty work.   
You felt depressed; and for some reason this made you careless. 

You had enough sense to bring your knife back with you atleast. You drove back quickly to Xavier’s apartment, hoping to just slip back into bed beside him without him questioning why you were back so quickly. 

You really should’ve taken your time but for some reason; you just wanted tonight’s events to be over and done with. It wasn’t anything for you to be proud of anymore; it was now something you were starting to hate about yourself. 

As you stepped out of the van and went to up to Xavier’s apartment; you couldn’t help but think how there was no denying how Xavier was starting to change you. How did it even make sense that a boy you just met a week ago was starting to make you feel love? It wasn’t only that but it nearly made you sick how in love you were with Xavier already - it was almost as if he had you under a spell. He made you want to be better, to become a version of yourself you weren’t even sure exsisted - a version that wasn’t a killer. 

You entered the apartment as slowly as you possibly could - shutting the door achingly slow - praying he was still asleep. You tiptoed across the apartment as you dropped your keys also painfully slowly onto the counter before you started to walk toward the bedroom door. 

You noted how the light looked to be off inside of his bedroom, thank god. You opened the door and you got ready for bed as humanely quiet as possible. 

You slipped into the bed, Xavier was already on one side - as if he was anticipating your return and he left room for you. You couldn’t help but smile at the thoughtfulness of the gesture as you pulled the partially warm covers over your body, and sank into the mattress. 

You turned over to go to sleep and as you shut your eyes - you were so close to being able to achieve your goal of not waking up Xavier - until you felt it. A warm hand ran lovingly accross your back, letting you know that Xavier was very much awake. You bit your tongue and couldn’t help but clench your eyes shut with frustration briefly. 

“(y/n)”? Xavier spoke. 

His voice was low and gravely, and as you rolled over to face him you noticed how his eyes barely even appeared to be open - his once baby blue eyes appeared black; colorless because of how dark the room was. 

You couldn’t help but smirk as Xavier sleepily outstretched his arms to bring you in closer - and you happily did so. You shimmied yourself just enough so that Xavier could wrap a arm around you, and even entangled your legs together. You heard him kick the blanket off since it seemed to be getting in his way of getting closer to you - which made you giggle. He put his head on top of yours, his chin resting on top of your head. 

You closed your eyes; fully in bliss and drinking him in. His scent, his warmth, everything about him. You were at such peace to the point where you almost forgot of today’s events until your heard the soft rumble of Xavier’s voice once again. 

He took his head off of yours and scooted back just a bit - just enough so that your foreheads were almost touching. 

“Where were you”? You heard him ask. 

You swallowed before answering, your voice wavering as you spoke. 

“At my friends house, like I told you. Remember”? Your words came out as a whisper but you spoke fast and quick. You know it seemed too well rehearsed, and Xavier wasn’t going to buy it. You were only gone a hour anyway and you told him you wouldn’t be back until tommorow. 

Just through the darkness you could see the corners of his mouth upturn, he was starting to smile. 

“You don’t smell like you were at your friends house”. Xavier said with a laugh and you brushed it off with a giggle but when in reality; your blood ran cold. 

It was no wonder that you didn’t smell fantastic; After all you did change into pajamas but into the appropriate bottoms - you took your bra off and figured that you could still wear the shirt you were wearing ealier to bed.. apparently that was a big fucking mistake. Also the fact that your hair wasn’t exactly at its prime peak of being clean - it contained sweat from ealier and, probably even droplets of blood honestly. 

“What is that supposed to mean”? You retorted playfully. Your noses about a mere inch apart. 

“It means that you smell like you’ve been rolling around in the dirt outside”. Xavier mumbled and quickly pecked you on the lips. 

You tried to keep kissing him - dumbly assuming that his intentions were to make out with you but you were left feeling dumbfounded and unsatisfied as you felt him quickly pull away. Xavier’s voice, soft and gravely quietly spoke - his lips were barely apart from yours; as if he was trying to tease and taunt you from how close he remained. 

“Go shower and when you come back.. Maybe I’ll have a surprise waiting for you”. Xavier quickly kissed you one last time before he scooted farther way, untangling his legs from yours before he rolled onto his back. You huffed in protest as you sat up in the bed. 

“Shower? Xavier it’s fucking midnight”! You retorted, a quick glance at the red beside clock Xavier kept confirmed your suspicions of how late it was. 

“You better hurry then babe. Don’t keep me waiting”. Xavier taunted as you let out another exasperated noise. 

You slowly and painfully peeled yourself off of the bed as you dragged yourself over to the bathroom; ready to take a world record breaking fast shower.

~ 

You contemplated if it was really necessary to put clothes on at all after your shower. You knew Xavier wouldn’t mind if you came out of the bathroom stark naked but for the sole reason of not wanting to feel too exposed, you settled on some nice lingerie. 

Putting on lingerie this late at night definetly felt odd but you tried to shake the feeling off as you stepped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. 

It took you a minuete for your eyes to adjust to the darkness - your sure you looked stupid as you stood there squinting - but you soon came to realize that he had fucking fell asleep. You would be lying if you said you weren’t dissapointed or upset, but you figured he was just tired. There was no reason for Xavier to be acting distant, right? 

Slipping into more comfortable pajamas, you slid into bed once again next to Xavier and drifted off quickly into sleep. 

~ 

The first thing you noticed when you woke up besides how good it felt to finally not be so tense; was that the bed was empty. And cold. You tried to search out Xavier’s body but you couldn’t find it, and with a defeated huff you sat up. 

It was easy to tell where Xavier went. The bedroom door was left slightly ajar and you could see a dim light coming from it, most likely from the living room. You couldn’t hear exact words but you could hear a low rumbling sound as if someone was talking - he was watching tv. 

To confirm your suspicions you got up stood in the doorway, opening the doorway just enough to poke your head out and yell at the bastard to come back to bed. 

He sat on the small couch that was placed in front of the TV. You contemplated calling out his name to make your prescence known but something made you wait, and your glad you did. 

Xavier was watching the news, some early morning talk show. They were currently discussing breaking news and a mass warning; telling people to keep their doors locked and be on the lookout for suspicious activity due to a murder that had occurred last night. 

You felt a shiver run through your body, the case on the television was starting to sound way too familiar to you. You walked back into the living room slowly, not wanting to startle Xavier. 

You went to go sit in his lap, he greeted you with a lazy “Hey babe”, and kissed you on the side of your mouth before giving the screen his undivided attention, and to be fair; you choose to do the same. 

Sure enough; the woman on the screen seemed to describe the murder you committed last night perfectly. Almost too perfectly, and the fact that Xavier was attentively listening to this was starting to make you feel gross, and paranoid. Even though the killer still remained anonymous you felt as if someone was reading your diary out loud like they were seeing a private part of your life that no one else was supposed to have access to but yourself. You felt exposed, and you fucking hated it. 

You had to distract Xavier, that was clear so you did it the easiest way you know how. You turned your head and stared at him for a second, admiring his beauty before you gently placed a hand on his soft cheek - turning it gently so that he was actually staring at you. He looked surprised, his eyebrows slightly knitted together but he didn’t dare say anything. 

You leaned in swiftly, catching his lips with yours as you started to melt into the kiss and into him. You shifted your legs so that you straddle him, and you left his hands softly go to your back. You felt his hands gradually go lower, and lower until you felt the slight coolness of his hands on your skin as he slipped his hands your shirt. 

You knew the windows were open and that everyone could probably see how cozy you and Xavier were getting but you figured that this was currently the least of your worries since that the damn reporter had spilled all your secrets. None of the bodies from your previous murders had been found, this was the first time you were getting press coverage and you were livid. You needed something to take your frustration out on, and you needed it now. The killer was still anonymous; it wasn’t like you were getting credit for it - and that’s what pissed you off more than anything. 

You stopped kissing Xavier for a split second, just enough to grab the tv remote that was by Xavier’s thigh to turn the damn tv off. You turned back to him and watched how Xavier first looked completely pissed but then he smirked. You brought yourself in close to him once more and you felt his hands immeaditly slide under your shirt again, his hands this time on your side near your hips instead of your back. You felt his hands travel south but as you two kissed you but Xavier’s lip playfully before you felt him draw away from you. The making out and the light touching seemed to be working as a perfect distraction, like how you thought it would until.. it didn’t. He was the first to pull away. You felt hurt and confused at first while you waited for him to say something. 

“I’m not stupid”. Xavier stated, acting as if he was too nervous to meet your eyes - and when he did all you saw was uncertainty, nervousness and a bit of fear which made your stomach churn. You quickly realized where this conversation was going so you awkwardly pulled your shirt down and pulled yourself off of his lap, opting to sit next to him instead. 

“Xavier, I never said you were. Where is this coming from”? You asked. 

“(Y/n), I need you to tell me the truth. Where were you last night”? Xavier asked, his cercealan blue eyes seemed to shimmer as you quickly realized he had tears in his eyes. 

Your breath hitched in your throat but you knew you absolutely could not tell the truth; no matter how much you truly wanted too. You had to play it cool. 

“Xavier i swear to god I was at my friends house. Please believe me-“ 

“Then tell me why you happen to go missing at the exact time that man was murdered last night”?! 

Xavier said, his voice rough and rugged with anger. His facial expressions and his voice were telltale signs of how mad he was, his eyes wide and his eyebrows slightly furrowed down. 

“I know that wasn’t a coincidence. And I’m not going to pretend like I didn’t see that red stain on your shirt last night”. Xavier finished. 

You took a quick breath and replied so quickly that you didn’t really have time to think about what you were saying. 

“Do you even know what your accusing me of, Xavier? Did you really think I’m a fucking killer, do you know how absurd that is”? You said, your voice high pitched as you continued to try and persuade Xavier with your well written lie. 

Tears stung your eyes, and you figured there was no use in holding them in. You couldn’t lose Xavier, you just couldn’t. He had to believe your lie, there was no other way. You sniffled as Xavier chose to stay quiet you decided to throw him more evidence for your ‘non killer I’m innocent’ claims. 

“The red stain on my shirt was spaghetti sauce, me and my friend got high last night and we decided to make spaghetti last minuete. I didn’t tell you cause I knew it would sound fucking crazy... And I smelt so awful because we had to go find somewhere outside to go smoke”. You said. 

You tried to meet Xavier’s eyes but he continued to stare at the ground. He slowly looked up at you, a tear or two running down from his eye to the bottom of his jawline. You wanted nothing more than to wipe it off, to tell him that everything would be okay but you couldn’t. You were too much at a risk already of losing him to take the chance of setting him off on top of it. Xavier kept staring at you, not daring to say a word. You slowly spoke up, 

“Xavier..” you felt brave so you leaned forward slightly; waiting for him to make any sudden movements to get up or turn away from you but he didn’t. You kept going until you were close enough to choose to touch him if you wanted, and you couldn’t help but notice how tears continued to gently fall down his cheeks. 

You brought your hand up slowly; again waiting for him to flinch but he let you gently brush his tears away. You felt his hand grab yours and made you cup his cheek; and that’s when he fully broke down - the tears that were once lightly falling were now cascading, and his breathing became labored from how instensly he was crying and you couldn’t help but wrap both of your arms around him and just hold him. 

You blinked back the tears, knowing it was more important to comfort Xavier than to show him you were hurting as well. You gently stroked his back as you felt your shoulder grow wet with his tears. It was hard at first to even hear his voice through all the sobbing but you made out a few words. 

“(Y/n), I’m so sorry”. You could feel the sobs continue to wreck through his body as you basically held him, and you felt horrible. Suddenly you felt Xavier separate a bit from you, enough to look at you in the eyes. You were still embraced, but now holding each other’s arms a bit more loosely. 

“Xav, it’s okay-“ 

“No it’s not. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you, but we can make it through this. Me and a couple of friends are going to camp redwood for the summer, to get away from this crazy killer but babe? Come with me please”? Xavier asked you. 

The sadness and misery you had felt a mere seconds ago but it seemed to immeaditly dissipate. You didn’t have to contemplate or think about it at all; the words flew out of your mouth. 

“Yes, Xavier! I’d love too”! You said with a wide grin. 

You wrapped your hands around his shoulders and engulfed him in a deep hug. You didn’t even consider how odd it must’ve looked to him how fast your mood changed. You were just truly greatful that you weren’t losing Xavier. 

You still seemed to have him pinned under your claws.. and it wasn’t like you wouldn’t be able to find any victims at camp redwood, there would be plentiful. It would be as easy as finding fish in water. The difficult part? Keeping your dirty secret hidden from the one you loved most.


End file.
